Monday, July 16, 2012

LIFE LESSONS: Do You Love Me?


LIFE LESSON: Do You Love Me?
by Kim Miller

I really love Mike! We have been married thirty years. Our sons told us we were freaks! 

Zac and Jake both attended Kentucky Christian University. They took a class which talked about family dynamics. We were told that the fact that Mike and I were married right out of high school at the ages of 18 and 19 and were still together was a freak of nature. They wanted to know if we understood the odds of our staying together in today’s world. This just doesn’t happen today!

For Mike and I, divorce was never an option. We decided from the beginning we were going to stay together. We’re both pretty stubborn. That does not mean our lives together have always been rosy! We’ve had our ups and downs. I had Zac when I was twenty. We were kids raising kids!

When you have two completely opposite people living under the same roof, you are going to experience problems. I am very outgoing and affectionate – Mike, not so much. He is introverted and private. I expected him to be more demonstrative. If he wasn’t, then I just knew something was wrong. Why do we need other people to validate us and our relationships? It took me a long time to realize that if I put God first, my other relationships would fall into place.

Recently, at our Woven event in NYC, I spent some time with some older Chinese women. We were there to serve them, but they were determined to help us do it! One could speak a little English and the other none at all! One of the topics discussed was our relationships with our husbands. One of the women said that people in the United States are bold with their feelings. We touch more and verbally tell each other how we feel. In her culture, she said that when her husband comes home from work, there is no need to tell him she loves him – if she hands him a cup of tea and puts his food on his plate, that tells him how she feels. Some of the younger women described this as “old school”. However, it works for these older couples.

When Mike and I were younger, I wanted him to tell me all the time how he felt. Sometimes he would say, "Well, I’m here aren’t I?" This always made me mad! I thought if he didn’t tell me, then he didn’t feel it. At some point in our marriage, this changed. When I started putting God first in my heart and in my life, I stopped demanding. I was no longer needy for love. God became my first love, and Mike started treating me differently. I've stopped asking him how he feels. After all, he’s been here for thirty years! And now: he tells me several times a day how much he loves me. 
 
Lord, thank you so much for the man you put in my life! Thank you that before either of us acknowledged You, You were with us and have been with us every step of the way. Help me Lord to remember that when I put you and our relationship first, my other relationships fall into place. You are more than enough! I give You glory for all that You have given me; all that You have done. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Let us love one another, for love is from God;
and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
1 John 4:7

Our human love is so limited.
The love we crave is the love of Jesus Christ.
He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
In fact, He has chosen to live within us through the Holy Spirit.
When all others fail to love, Christ is there,
loving us more than we can comprehend!



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Kim Miller makes me smile just saying her name. She is a vivacious woman of God. It's so wonderful to have her on my Woven leadership team at Newarknaz. We are still unwrapping her many gifts. Love you Kim! ~Cindy

Kim and her best friend Mike have been married for 30 years. They have been blessed with two sons, Zac (married to the amazing Jackie) and Jake. They also have two rambunctious dogs, Jo & Dixie. Kim has been an administrative professional for 30 years. She enjoys encouraging and spending time with women of all ages.


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