Saturday, February 25, 2012

40 Days of Virtue: A New "To-Do"!

“She comforts, encourages, and does him only good,
as long as there is life within her”
Proverbs 31:12

A New "To-Do"!
by
Woven Leader Kelly Tenney

When I think about the desire to be a virtuous woman, I reflect on the characteristics I want to model for my children. There are two things I want them to hold dear to their hearts.
   One is that Christ is the center of my heart.
   The other is that Christ is the center of my marriage.

In this fast paced, instant gratification, self-empowering society, it's easy to forget that we are one with our spouses. It's easy to just move through life quickly checking off our to-do list. And, when we get caught up in the busy-ness of life, we leave little time for each other, which actually hurts us as much as it hurts our spouse. It hurts our marriage.
   When we bottle our thoughts, our emotions.
   When we nit-pick about things we want changed.
   When we take out our anger and frustration on our spouse.
   When we speak negatively, negativity is what we get in return.
   When we inflict pain on our spouse, we literally inflict pain on ourselves, because we are one.

Think of three things you've done that brought harm to your husband. It can be as trivial as being snippy, speaking poorly of him to your friends, or disregarding his opinion.
Stop for a moment and write these down.

They say it takes three positives to negate a single negative.
Now think of nine things you can do to positively build the esteem of your spouse. This can range from giving him affirmation, doing something thoughtful, setting aside quality time, or just letting him know why you love and appreciate him. Take a moment to list them as well.

Pray. Ask God to forgive you for being careless with your marriage relationship; for not honoring your husband as He has instructed us to do. Pray that you will seize opportunities to encourage your hubby, to speak positivity into his life. If there is competition between you, pray that it will cease. If there is anger, pray that God will diffuse it. Pray that God will heal your marriage of the hurts, or wounds, or whatever may be separating you; that you may be truly One.

Follow through by carrying out the items on your new to-do list!

I love to think about how much I love and adore my husband. It blows my mind that Christ loves me so much more than that, more than my heart can even comprehend. He loves us in spite of our weaknesses. He praises our strengths. He even gave us this bond of marriage to bring balance to our lives, to affirm His love for us. His love is loyal, uplifting, affirming, sacrificial, and faithful. He is the perfect example of how a husband and a wife should love one another. This is His command to us:

"Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”  John 13:34-35

 Kelly Tenney is a stay at home mom of two. She runs a small business from her home and keeps busy serving at The Firehouse, a campus of Newark Church of the Nazarene. She enjoys flip flops, coffee, and leading worship with her husband.

She is a WOVEN Woman: a woman of virtue!

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